Lily’s Story
The following account is written by a survivor who calls herself “Lily” to protect her identity. She alleges abusive grooming by Mark Rivera that took place while she was a committed member of Church of the Resurrection and concurrently attended and volunteered at Christ Our Light Anglican (COLA), two churches in the Diocese of the Upper Midwest.
“Lily” is sharing her story publicly for the first time because she believes that Mark Rivera’s sexual grooming behaviors both at Church of the Resurrection (where Mark was a long-term member and volunteer since the ’90s, before helping plant COLA in 2013) and COLA have been greatly minimized in Upper Midwest Diocese public statements.
“Lily” regularly witnessed Mark Rivera engaging in the same sexually abusive grooming behaviors towards numerous other girls at Church of the Resurrection and COLA that she herself experienced from him. She believes that these misleading public statements by Upper Midwest Diocese leaders have potentially left many additional victims wondering whether they would be believed if they shared their own stories of abuse with their family and church community.
The following account includes pictures of Mark Rivera with girls in his community. They are not necessarily pictures of ‘Lily’ or the other girls mentioned in the story. Their purpose is to illustrate how public and pervasive Mark’s displays of physical affection, consistent with the grooming behavior (described by ‘Lily,’ Joanna, and Cherin) to children have been during the course of his time at Church of the Resurrection and Christ Our Light Anglican.
Who’s who:
Mark Rivera- A former long-term member and volunteer at Church of the Resurrection and lay leader at Christ Our Light Anglican Church, two churches in the Diocese of the Upper Midwest. Mark has been accused of sexually abusing female victims ranging from children to adult women
Church of the Resurrection - A large ACNA parish located in Wheaton, IL that serves as the Cathedral Church for the Diocese of the Upper Midwest, where Mark Rivera attended since the mid ’90s and held numerous volunteer and leadership roles within the church.
Christ Our Light Anglican (COLA) - A now-disbanded church located in Big Rock, Illinois in which Mark served as an influential lay leader, catechist, treasurer, and vestry member. COLA was a Greenhouse Movement church plant within the Diocese of the Upper Midwest.
“Lily,” a survivor who alleges sexually abusive grooming behavior against her while she was a teenager by Mark Rivera, her “godfather” and former church leader. “Lily” was a member of the Church of the Resurrection, where she met Mark Rivera. She also attended and volunteered at COLA frequently.
Mark Rivera was my “godfather.” He was also an abuser. This is my story.
I have known Mark Rivera since I was 16-years-old. I met Mark in 2013 at Church of the Resurrection (which my family attended from 2011-2018). Another family that I was close to at the church introduced me to Mark Rivera. I had spent a great deal of time with this other family and we were very close so I fully trusted their judgment. In the summer of 2013, this family was leaving for an extended trip and wanted me to have spiritual support while they were away, so they connected me to Mark Rivera before they left. I had met Mark a few times prior to this conversation and I was open to it when he “adopted” me as one of his many godchildren. Cherin Marie, who was Mark’s neighbor at the time, was invited by Mark to help him spiritually mentor me and another young girl from Church of the Resurrection and became an unofficial godmother to both of us.
Christ Our Light Anglican (COLA) started meeting in September of 2013, after I had known Mark Rivera for a few months. Because of my relationship with Mark, I was invited to help with church every week and quickly became a very committed member of COLA. My Saturdays were spent driving out to Big Rock and helping set up at the Big Rock Town Hall where we would host our church services. It would take hours to set up and take everything down and helping with COLA church became a big part of my life.
COLA was made up of a very small community of people. There were many children who would come to the services and most of the time I would be doing childcare for them as many of the parents in the congregation served in or attended the services. Mark and Cherin both lived in Big Rock, about 45 minutes away from my house, so I would frequently drive out either to help with COLA services or just to hang out and visit with Mark, Cherin, and the COLA community. I regularly spent the night in Big Rock at Cherin’s house, after spending the whole day with Mark and Cherin.
Mark Rivera had an especially big role as catechist at the church. The importance of his role within COLA was staggering, even if it wasn’t labeled anything more than catechist, prayer minister, communion minister, treasurer, and vestry member. Mark regularly preached sermons, led entire church services, organized church events, oversaw the running of every service, assigned serving positions, led prayers, served communion, and many other things.
In addition to being a leader at COLA, Mark was extremely well known and cemented in the Church of the Resurrection community, as he had been attending Rez since the ’90s. Even as Church of the Resurrection grew to a congregation of hundreds of people, Mark was still a well-known member there. He was constantly “adopting godchildren” from Church of the Resurrection and elsewhere, which is exactly what he did to me and many other girls that I know. Mark boasted that he had over 30 “godchildren,” and that was back in 2013; I can’t even imagine what the number would be like now after all these years.
The more time I spent with Mark Rivera, the more I had an uncomfortable feeling when I was around him. Mark was a very physically touchy person, and he touched me and other girls constantly. I pushed my own discomfort with Mark’s persistent physical touching to the side though, because I felt that the community wouldn’t be pushing me towards someone who was unsafe. After all, Mark was supposed to be helping me grow stronger in my faith, and all the adults at Rez and COLA seemed to trust him unconditionally.
I would frequently spend time with Mark in his “mancave,” which was a small room in the basement of his house where he would bring company to hang out. Sometimes I would visit in the mancave with a group of people, but often I was alone with Mark in the mancave while we talked and hung out together. Mark frequently brought young girls into his mancave for private one-on-one conversations - I was not the only child who talked and visited alone with Mark behind a closed door. While alone, Mark would offer me alcohol (something I regularly saw him serve to other minor children as well) and we would drink together while talking about private and extremely vulnerable topics.
Mark and I would regularly have conversations about faith and boundaries and Mark often pressured me to share vulnerable things about myself with him. He would tell me that it was important for me to let him be among my closest circle of friends. I did, because I trusted Mark and believed what he told me must be right and that his intentions must be good. Mark was my spiritual mentor and I really thought he wanted what was best for me. I recognize now that Mark isolating me, serving me alcohol, and then pressuring me to share vulnerable information about myself was just one of many grooming tactics he used on me and many others. At the time, Mark’s behaviors were so common and normalized that I did not even realize how abusive and dangerous they were.
Despite Mark constantly violating my physical boundaries and putting me in secluded and isolated settings (where he then created trust and emotional connection by pressuring me for private details about my life), at the time I was none the wiser to how persistently Mark was grooming me. Spending time with Mark in the mancave was just a normal thing to do with Mark. Sitting on Mark’s lap was just a normal thing to do with Mark. Being kissed, hugged, and fawned over constantly was just a normal thing with Mark. He did this with me and with many other girls, all the time.
Mark Rivera could frequently be seen with his arms around young girls’ waists, giving them long drawn out hugs, and kissing their cheeks for prolonged periods of time. He would give very tight, affectionate hugs, rub girl’s backs, invite them to sit on his lap, and would cross numerous physical boundaries constantly. This all happened at COLA and Church of the Resurrection, at church events and with church leaders and plenty of adults around, as well as at his private home. Everyone trusted Mark; because of this, he was able to get away with behaviors that would not have been permitted by any other person. The more I got to know Mark and the more he violated physical boundaries with me, the more uncomfortable I felt around him. I continued to push the feeling away though, because everyone trusted Mark and I thought my intuition must have been wrong and the problem must just be me.
Mark would frequently interrupt conversations with me and with other girls telling us that we were so cute and proceed to kiss our cheeks for extended periods of time while hugging us. He would have girls sit on his lap all the time. Mark was allowed to victimize and sexually groom young girls in plain sight and to get away with the whole thing for years and years because no adults came forward and said that his behavior was inappropriate. Mark is still trying to get away with it. There were so many things Mark constantly did that were inappropriate.
Although Mark Rivera regularly engaged in numerous grooming behaviors with me and other girls in full view of adults and church leaders, when my own parents were around, Mark altered his behavior dramatically. It was not until recently that I learned my own parents had no idea that Mark regularly hugged and kissed me, had me sit on his lap, and spent time alone with me in his mancave when I was out in Big Rock. When my parents were nearby, Mark was careful to keep an appropriate amount of space. I did not speak to my parents regarding the levels of physical affection he had shown me until other victims had come forward.
I attended Christ Our Light Anglican for well over a year before leaving the small church. I had gotten a job which required me to work weekends and so I was unable to make the same commitment to COLA as I had before. Prior to me leaving, there was an incident with a 16-year-old girl, Holly, who was another one of Mark’s “godchildren” and a close friend of mine. Holly had been spending time with Mark Rivera alone in his mancave and he had victimized her in a truly horrible way. Mark denied the whole thing when Holly later confronted him about it. At the time, I was the only person she confided in about what happened to her.
In 2019, Cherin Marie asked me to come visit her. I gladly obliged as I had kept in contact with her throughout the years. When I got there, Cherin took me outside and told me that a victim (her daughter) had come forward with allegations that Mark had molested her. A part of me was in shock but at the same time I knew without a doubt that it was true. It crushed me. Mark had been a huge part of my life. I had trusted him explicitly albeit with reservations. Regardless, the pain I felt at being betrayed by him was excruciating. Cherin asked me if Mark had ever done anything to victimize me, but at the time I did not see Mark’s behavior towards me as abusive (not understanding how much he had sexually groomed and abused me through the constant over-the-top touching, prying vulnerable information out of me, and serving me alcohol when I was a teenager).
Mark Rivera with Cherin’s son
Cherin Marie took on the responsibility of reaching out to some of the young girls who she knew had spent a lot of time with Mark to ask if anything had happened to them. No other member of COLA or Rez ever reached out to me to see if anything had happened, after Cherin’s daughter came forward, even though it was a well-known fact in both churches that I was Mark’s “goddaughter” and that I and many other young girls had spent copious amounts of time with Mark, in a public as well as private setting. COLA and Church of the Resurrection leaders failed to take on the responsibility of helping Mark’s victims, back in May of 2019 when Mark’s abuse was made known to them. Rather, COLA leaders pressured Cherin not even to report Mark to the authorities and then circled around to support Mark while driving Cherin and her family out of the church. A COLA and Church of the Resurrection member even criticized Cherin directly for sharing the allegations against Mark with me, accusing Cherin of gossip and slander for asking me and Holly (who was also victimized by Mark) whether Mark had ever harmed us.
I have stood by Cherin since the very beginning and will do so until the very end. The church has not made a strong effort to help Mark’s victims. There has been no outreach from the church to the victims and there has been no protection for the victims. We now know of 12 victims who have had abusive or predatory experiences with Mark Rivera, but many of these victims may be too afraid to come forward to share their stories publicly. I have personally seen the way that Mark’s victims have been treated by the church for speaking up and coming forward. I have also seen true strength in Cherin Marie and Joanna Rudenborg in how they have fought for justice for Mark Rivera’s victims. They have advocated with the church and fought against the major lack of responsibility that the church has accepted for what has happened. If this is how victims are to be treated, then I think it is obvious why so few have spoken out.
For years, many church leaders and members have ignored and overlooked the abuse that many girls and young women have suffered from Mark Rivera. They have made excuses for Mark and dismissed his behavior as just Mark being overly affectionate. The truth though is that Mark’s behavior was abuse. It took me quite some time to come forward and admit this behavior was grooming and abuse because of how manipulative Mark had been. He was great at hiding in plain sight. Other victims may also be reluctant to come forward and disclose their own stories of grooming and abuse by Mark Rivera.
I recently found an article online which defines sexual grooming as “a manipulative process whereby a person (predator) seeks to cultivate a sense of trust with another (victim) prior to abusing them. It’s a term used to speak of the cultivation process of abusive relationships.” This is exactly what Mark did. He was so good at establishing trust and presenting himself as a righteous and holy man that his inappropriate behavior didn’t look or feel like abuse to me. When his behavior made me feel uncomfortable, I was left believing that there must be something wrong with “me.” I continually ignored and suppressed my own discernment that something was not right, because Mark’s presentation of himself as a good guy (reinforced by the COLA and Rez communities) was so effective and convincing
Any unwanted sexual attention is abuse. All those times that Mark Rivera kissed me and other girls on the cheek, or hugged us while rubbing our backs, or had us sitting on his lap - that was abuse and it was all done in plain sight of the church. Cherin Marie and Joanna Rudenborg have spoken for all of us who haven’t had the courage to come forward. Cherin has been one of the only people who I have opened up to about what happened with Mark and how severely he abused me.
I am finally telling my story because I hope that anyone who reads this can feel strong enough to admit that what Mark Rivera did to them was abuse and can be empowered to speak up about it to someone they trust. I urge other victims to come forward and speak out to someone who can hear your story and give you help and support. If you do not have someone you feel safe talking to, you can reach out to ACNAtoo on either Twitter via direct message or through the ACNAtoo website; you will be believed and supported and your story will be held in confidence. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing with someone in the ACNAtoo movement then please share with a trusted friend or family member. You should not be carrying this alone, as I and many others have done for so long.
Mark has been hiding in plain sight for too many years victimizing girls in the church and in his community. He has held power over his victims for too long. The ones who had the power to help us did not step forward in a timely manner. It is up to us to tell our stories. Even if your story does not go any further than speaking to someone in the ACNAtoo movement or speaking to a trusted family or friend I urge you to do so. Your story is important and you deserve to be heard.
