A response to #BelieveUsToo from Cherin Marie
My family’s entire world was shattered when our 9-year-old daughter disclosed in May 2019 that Mark Rivera had been sexually abusing her. We turned to our beloved priest and our church community at Christ Our Light for help but we were not believed or supported. Virtually overnight, we lost our entire support network as we watched our closest friends turn away from us and believe and support Mark Rivera. We sought refuge at Church of the Resurrection but our time there was short-lived and was nearly as traumatic and devastating as our abrupt departure from Christ Our Light.
When Joanna Rudenborg came forward in November 2020 with allegations of rape, emotional abuse, and manipulation by Mark Rivera, my family had long since given up and walked away from the church. We were facing an impending court trial with zero community support and had given up all hope of the church ever listening or caring about what had happened to our family. We felt completely alone until Joanna came alongside us.
In the midst of facing her own trauma and pain, Joanna listened to our family’s story and selflessly gave her support, her time, and her heart to help us. We had no energy left to fight with, so Joanna lent us her strength. We had no voice until Joanna gave us one.
I cannot overstate the bravery and integrity I have seen Joanna demonstrate as a survivor/advocate. Joanna has been transparent about her role and involvement in normalizing the abuse of another Mark Rivera survivor from the beginning, disclosing and owning this over a year ago to church and diocesan leaders, to her former Big Rock community members, and to the survivor directly.
She had nothing personally to gain and everything to lose by calling for an independent church investigation and later from speaking out publicly, knowing this part of her story could and would most likely be publicly wielded against her. Even knowing that this part of her story would ultimately be subjected to public disclosure and scrutiny through any kind of church investigation, Joanna advocated selflessly and fearlessly for this on behalf of my family and the other Mark Rivera survivors whose stories had long since been dismissed and ignored by the church.
To those of you viewing these allegations against Joanna and believing that she is somehow disqualified from survivor advocacy work because of her role in this other survivor’s abuse, I urge you to educate yourself on dynamics of complex trauma and survivor complicity. Joanna’s situation is not unique and this has never been something she has sought to hide. The implication that she is pursuing her own selfish agenda through her role as a survivor advocate is heartbreaking to my family. We personally requested that any financial survivor support go to Joanna and not our family, because the work she is doing is invaluable to us and we owe her a debt that we could never possibly repay.
While I wholly respect that all survivors will have different experiences, perspectives, and opinions as they walk out their healing process, I do want to speak to some factual inaccuracies in the recently posted #BelieveUsToo letter:
It has been asserted that Mark Rivera’s access to victims was peripheral to his connection to Church of the Resurrection. I am deeply disturbed by this implication and the effort to distance the church from Mark Rivera’s numerous reported victims, many of whom attended Church of the Resurrection when they report being victimized by Mark.
Mark’s access to the Big Rock community that eventually formed around him was solely possible because of his role as a leader at Church of the Resurrection. My mother was the one who invited Mark and his family to move to Big Rock, to live on my childhood home property, after knowing and serving alongside him as a volunteer leader at the church for several years. My extended family members, who lent additional trust and credibility to Mark Rivera, met him through Church of the Resurrection.
Two reported victims were introduced to Mark Rivera at Church of the Resurrection as minors. Mark personally invited these young women to become part of the Christ Our Light community in Big Rock, where they allege he groomed and abused them. A third reported survivor never had any connection to Big Rock at all, and only knew Mark through Church of the Resurrection. The foundation of my own trust in Mark Rivera and the access he had to my children centered entirely on his role as a church leader at Church of the Resurrection and later at Christ Our Light.
It has been additionally suggested that Bp. Stewart Ruch has been wrongfully accused of covering up Mark Rivera’s abuse by Joanna and ACNAtoo and I would like to speak to this as well:
I have personally alleged failed mandating reporting at various levels of church leadership, attempted cover-up of Mark’s abuse by Christ Our Light and senior Upper Midwest Diocese leaders, and egregious mishandling of my daughter’s abuse allegations by church leadership. I have also alleged that Bp. Ruch made misleading statements in his May 4, 2021 public announcement and deceptive pronouncements to his congregation in a private July 4, 2021 church meeting; I stand firmly by all of these assertions.
The mishandling of my daughter’s abuse allegations happened under Bp. Ruch’s watch, even if he was not personally involved in every instance. Bp. Ruch chose not to hold accountable the leaders who grievously harmed and failed my family and he allowed this situation to stay quiet and hidden for nearly two years after my family brought our daughter’s and others allegations to the church. Most devastatingly, Bp. Ruch invited Chancellor Charlie Philbrick, who is personally implicated in attempting to cover-up my daughter’s sexual abuse, to join his team that oversaw the hiring of an investigative firm a year ago.
While I do not believe the full responsibility of church mishandling falls personally on Bp. Ruch, to suggest that he is entirely blameless and has been maliciously scapegoated by Joanna and ACNAtoo requires intentionally discarding and dismissing my family’s story.
None of this in any way diminishes the pain and trauma of these survivors who have come forward. I am especially heartbroken for the Mark Rivera survivor who alleges harm by Joanna; I believe her and I am so sorry for everything she has been through. Despite our differences in perspective, I do believe that all of Mark Rivera’s survivors desire for the truth to be known. I honor every survivor’s right to hold different opinions regarding public advocacy and church accountability and I fully support every survivor speaking out in whatever way best serves their healing process. I honor that some Mark Rivera survivors have found support and healing through the church and with the support of church leadership. I also recognize that some Mark Rivera survivors do not share my concerns about how my daughter’s abuse allegations were mishandled by church leaders.
I continue to be grateful that ACNAtoo has created a safe space for the wounded sheep who were not able to find help within the church. Our family would still be lost and alone without the help and advocacy of Joanna and ACNAtoo.
- Cherin Marie and her family